Tuesday, June 12, 2012

You, my friend. I have something to tell you.

Ze SuperNadiahbs iz tired of pretending to be Superb.

I am tired. Tired of everything.
Every single word that left unsaid.
Every single thing that left undone.


Because I'm just too coward to face the possible outcomes. The outcomes that when I say something or give advises to people, they will start avoiding me. They will not gonna share anything with me again. They will feels discomfort around me and think that I'm such a tedious person. I don't want to have that feeling. All the outcomes that I couldn't bear to stand and witness and ever even experience it myself. But then I knew, that I really need to stand up and speak up what I've been longing to say for a long time.


What if, the friendship bonds between us would not be the same again.
Tear up.
Tear apart.

I'm tired of being a coward. I'm tired of being the girl who don't know how to get mad. I'm tired of blinding myself from all the wrong things that people did. I'm tired of not being able to say the right words and do the right things. I'm tired of not having the gut to tell someone their wrongdoings. I'm tired of pretending that I don't know what happens around when I exactly know the whole true stories and the details.

I'm tired of being me. A selfless girl. I'm just tired.

You know the feelings? When all the guilts and sadness surrounding us because we didn't do the right things at the right time? And all the "free" sins that we have to get just because we didn't tell and advise them when we can? And just let it slip away from our sight.

And to tell you the truth, the guilts will keep on haunting us and the sins will also keep on burdening our left shoulders with or without our consciousness.

Well, at least that's what I feel right now.

And for the gazillionth time, I'm TIRED of all these things up to the point where I'm tired of telling and even mentioning that I'm tired. Pffttt.

And I don't know how to overcome all these stupid feelings. T_T
So that I can untie this tongue of mine and spill every single things that I wanted to say. Not because I'm the type of person who simply loves bugging into people's life. But just because I care for all of you. I care for my friends that I always wanted the best for them. That's all :'(

Huh? Wait. Hold a second, buddy.
Yes. I'm not perfect. Not even close.
But who's perfect, anyway?

Teach me. Please. Teach how to do it.

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