Saturday, September 18, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
red flame
why it seems so hard to forget something that we really NEED to forget? i mean, i've been trying like death just to forget certain things that keep on hurting me inside out but still it reminded me more about it. i'm so tired of keep telling to myself that i'm cool and fine but whattheheck i'm not. haish. i really pissed off with myself. why is it so hard to forget that damn thing and just put a real genuine smile? i thought that i have enough strength to break the thin delicate glass off my chest but no, it still cant. of all the gazillionth time i tried, it just like a waste of time. i didnt mind if the bad things that i tried to pull off my chest didnt even hurt me, but the fact is it's killing me inside and it really hard to ignore. i know that sometimes we have to deal with all those bad things which supposedly to make us be stronger to live life ahead but can you just give me a manual on how to deal with life cause for the sake of want to feel the wonderful of life, i desperately need em right now. anyone? hand me your manual please. *sigh*
the feel of insecure towards myself and everything around me really bother me. big time. its not that i want to make fuss over my life and tell everyone how sucks my life had been all this while or being i-am-the-only-person-in-this-fucking-world-who-is-full-of-problems-and-let-me-committed-suicide thingy. how can i put this thing right? hurm. ok. my life had been upside down all this while and i had already tidy up my life a lil bit but it seems like it start to mess up again. i'm tired and exhausted and do i need to mention it thousands time that i'm sicked of it? no, its not premenstrual syndrome etc, its me letting out what i've been gripping so hard in my chest that i' afraid that it would burst if i keep on hidden em.
ok, lets put this thing to a stop. in the name of god, i hope that my life would be much better and less suffocated living in this hella world. i wish to live life like no one can ever proclaimed that i'm a loser or a bitch. i hope that no one will ever messing up with my life cause i'm living in my own life and anyone who tends to do so, please forget your intention. and i say this with a straight strict face. please, *with puppy eyes* stop treating me like a voodoo doll who can be hurt like no one would ever matter.
*thank you, fellas*
the feel of insecure towards myself and everything around me really bother me. big time. its not that i want to make fuss over my life and tell everyone how sucks my life had been all this while or being i-am-the-only-person-in-this-fucking-world-who-is-full-of-problems-and-let-me-committed-suicide thingy. how can i put this thing right? hurm. ok. my life had been upside down all this while and i had already tidy up my life a lil bit but it seems like it start to mess up again. i'm tired and exhausted and do i need to mention it thousands time that i'm sicked of it? no, its not premenstrual syndrome etc, its me letting out what i've been gripping so hard in my chest that i' afraid that it would burst if i keep on hidden em.
ok, lets put this thing to a stop. in the name of god, i hope that my life would be much better and less suffocated living in this hella world. i wish to live life like no one can ever proclaimed that i'm a loser or a bitch. i hope that no one will ever messing up with my life cause i'm living in my own life and anyone who tends to do so, please forget your intention. and i say this with a straight strict face. please, *with puppy eyes* stop treating me like a voodoo doll who can be hurt like no one would ever matter.
*thank you, fellas*
Thursday, September 9, 2010
marang, terengganu
balik kampung early in the morning today. but i havent pack anything yet. so, just have to get ready to be scold by my mom later
. "ears, wear earplug please." haha
i think that i talk more craps nowadays. ohh btw, scratch that ear thingy craps if u didnt think its funny haha.
*nadiah's conscience negotiating* haha
=.=
dah dah.
anyway,
SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MUSLIMS :)
. "ears, wear earplug please." haha
i think that i talk more craps nowadays. ohh btw, scratch that ear thingy craps if u didnt think its funny haha.
*nadiah's conscience negotiating* haha
=.=
dah dah.
anyway,
SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MUSLIMS :)
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
dumbly numblr@tumblr
haha,
scratch the craps.
i just sign up for tumblr :)
feel free to visit:
bananad wont harm you
tapi blogspot ni still my main blog
scratch the craps.
i just sign up for tumblr :)
feel free to visit:
bananad wont harm you
tapi blogspot ni still my main blog
Monday, September 6, 2010
final year
as this year is my final year in school, so i dont want to make it like the worst year ever. so, i guess i need to straighten things up like any those unwanted things that happened for all this while. i just want to make it the most memorable moments ever to stay, live and socialize with all different types of person in sester. i guess if i didnt make a choice to move to sester, i wont be able to experience such an extreme life like this. i mean, if i just keep on staying at my formal school, i wont experience all those form-fours-need-to-respect-form-fives thingy, the wow-this-school-full-of-freaks moments and all those good n bad things.
i believe that everything happens for a reason. maybe it would probably makes me feel all sick and down but i just have to bear in mind that there are gazzilion of people behind me that ready to catch and hold me if i'm not strong. cause thats what friends do. ;)
living in sester for two years are like heck full of suprises things that u could never forget. from a small tiny things to the freakingly huge troubles. it all happened in this small little school with a population of only less than 300 students. as what i've been through all this while and as i watched people's act, i think i've become more mature than before. i made mistakes and i learnt to not repeat em twice.
i used to hate living here in sester, but the feel slowly fade away as i'm going through lots of stuff here. to all freaks of sester *haha*, thanks fr making me feel like what i'm feeling right now. like no word can describe it. its a good feel for sure.
;)
i believe that everything happens for a reason. maybe it would probably makes me feel all sick and down but i just have to bear in mind that there are gazzilion of people behind me that ready to catch and hold me if i'm not strong. cause thats what friends do. ;)
living in sester for two years are like heck full of suprises things that u could never forget. from a small tiny things to the freakingly huge troubles. it all happened in this small little school with a population of only less than 300 students. as what i've been through all this while and as i watched people's act, i think i've become more mature than before. i made mistakes and i learnt to not repeat em twice.
i used to hate living here in sester, but the feel slowly fade away as i'm going through lots of stuff here. to all freaks of sester *haha*, thanks fr making me feel like what i'm feeling right now. like no word can describe it. its a good feel for sure.
;)
Friday, September 3, 2010
vulnerable
i'm having a really tough time right now. things didnt work like how it supposed to be. i hate when i really need to stand straight n keep my nose high when i'm numb with what was actually going on. i hope things will be back the way it is. i hate changes n i'm not strong in going through a major changes right now. i aint coward, it just that i'm enjoying my life now n dont want anyone or anything to start messing it up. i may look tough physically but the truth is i'm just fragile. i need extra strength. seriously.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
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