she'll never come back again

its hardly for me to write and talk about it right now. but i'll try with all my strength that i have.

yes, she's gone and will never come back again. it is my first time to see dead body live in front of my two eyes. it's my grandma. she passed away because of stroke. when my dad fetched me at school, he said that my grandma was in a serious condition and we have to go to the village right now. when we arrived at our house to pack our bags, we got a called from my grandpa. he told that grandma is gone. she's GONE! FOREVER. and we didnt made it to see she's alive for the last time.

i hold my tears. but i cant hold it any longer. then, my face was full with my tears. i try not to cry loud because i dont want to disturb him driving. i know he was really really sad. who dont? its his mom, the person that gave birth to him has gone. i can see his eyes gone all red. i know he is holding his tears inside. my mom keep on crying and keep on saying kesian mak, kesian mak, kesian mak.

when we arrived at my grandparents house, i could feel the sadness all over the house. i saw people reciting doa, reading yassin and crying. i could see my grandma's body lying on the bed. she was soooo thin ! it's really different from before. i kissed her, it's cold. her cheeks are cold ! and once again, i couldnt hold my tears. if i'm not mistaken, the last time i met her was about 2 weeks ago. that time, she's lying on the bed with the water tube inside her nose.

the funeral was held on the next day since the penggali kubur tengah cuti the day when my grandma passed away -_- . the process went smoothly. i just watched all the mak ciks prepared the kain kapan and stuff. i saw they wrapped my grandma's dead body with kain kapan. after that, all her children, grandchildren and relatives kissed her for the last time. it was very sad to see that and many people were crying including me. how i wish my grandma is still alive. i miss her so much.

then, her body was brought to the grave on the hill. they put the body slowly in the place. i witnessed it. i'm so pity of my grandma. i know she will go to the different place. the place where she will been asked by malaikat on the things that she did on the Earth. i cried again, it was very sad ! they buried her and put a pice of wood that have been carved like batu nisan. maybe the real batu nisan belum siap. we pour the water and petals of flowers on her grave right after reciting the doa. i know, when the last person had walked 7 steps away from the grave, malaikat will come to my grandma and do the duty of asking all that stuff. kesian tok ! =(

when we come back from the grave, we entered the house and its like something was gone. i take a peek at my grandparents' room. i know, i misses her. i look at the bed, the cupboard and all, luckily, i can hold my tears. then, me, cousins, mom, aunts and uncle took the photo album and see the pictures. my grandma was really beautiful when she was young. its kinda sad and happy to see those pictures. its sorta pengubat rindu to see those old pictures. my grandpa was like really blurr. my aunt told me that when my grandma sicked, he cannot sleep. penah berape kali, pukul 4 lebih, pusing-pusing taman and basuh kereta so that, boleh tidur. he already took the pli tidur tapi still cant fall asleep. kesian dia!

omg! i know, you knew how much i missed her.

ya Allah yang maha besar, golongkan arwah dalan kalangan orang yang masuk syurga. rahmatilah roh arwah, semoga arwah sentiasa dalam keadaan aman dan tenang di sana. ampunkanlah segala dosa-dosa arwah dan ringankan lah hukuman ke atas nya.

al-fatihah,

amin.

tarih meninggal : 11.11.08
masa meninggal : 2.50 pm
tarikh pengebumian : 12.11.08
sebab meninggal : angin ahmar
usia meninggal : 74 tahun

p/s : tok, i miss you so much ! <3>